Embracing the Journey: Raising an Autistic Child as a Later Diagnosed Neurodivergent Parent
Parenting is a rewarding yet challenging journey for anyone. Parenting an autistic child, in a world that isn’t set up to accommodate them, can be even more complex. Parenting an autistic child, in this world, and discovering your own neurodivergent (ND) identity later in life? Rewarding, challenging, complex - there aren’t enough adjectives!
This unique experience allows for a profound understanding of both yourself and your child, opening doors to growth, acceptance, and deeper connection. Here is a little about my journey, and some of the valuable lessons and insights it has brought.
Discovering My Neurodivergent Identity: Discovering your ND identity later in life can be both liberating and overwhelming. As I embarked on this journey of self-discovery, I began to unravel the intricacies of my own neurology and how it intersects with my child's autistic experience. It offered me a deeper understanding of our challenges, strengths, and sensory sensitivities, providing a fresh perspective on my parenting role.
Building Self-Compassion and Acceptance: Recognizing and accepting my kiddo’s autistic identity became a transformative process, where I learned to celebrate their unique strengths and provide the support they need to thrive. Late diagnosis for myself brought a sense of relief, validating the struggles I’ve encountered all my life. In learning about my kiddo’s neurodivergent traits and how to empathize and accommodate, I learned to extend the same empathy and compassion towards myself.
Navigating Parenting Strategies: I learned how to find parenting strategies that work best for both myself and my child. I needed to adapt, tap into each of our unique strengths, and tailor approaches that resonate with kiddo’s needs. As an example - demand avoidance. Life changed in a profound way when I learned to better navigate demand avoidance. (That is a whole blog entry on its own!)
Advocating for my Child: As a ND parent, I came to understand that I am uniquely positioned to advocate for my child. I worked hard to become an ally, utilizing firsthand experiences and knowledge to navigate the complex educational and social systems. Armed with the understanding of my child's unique needs, I learned to collaborate with teachers, therapists, and other professionals to ensure kiddo receives the support and accommodations necessary for his growth and development.
Embracing Neurodiversity as a Family: Late diagnosis can also bring about a shift in the dynamics within our families. I’ve fostered an environment of acceptance, embracing neurodiversity as an integral part of our family's identity. Siblings learn empathy, patience, and the beauty of differences, and our neurodivergent journey becomes a shared experience, deepening our connections and building resilience as a unit.
Parenting an autistic child as a late diagnosed ND individual is a journey filled with self-discovery, growth, and profound connection. By embracing our identities, we gain insight and understanding that shapes the way we parent and advocate for our children… and we find that we can build an inclusive and accepting environment that celebrates neurodiversity, creating a space for our kiddos to thrive.